Handling HOw to Separate

rough week..I get a call from my son's vice principle that he was seen on tape leaving the school before dismissal/cut class. I leave school to look for him-after a relentless unsuccessful search, I return home. It is now around 4:00pm and he should be here-low & behold he's comes in cheerful, like nothing had happened. (What's Good Mom?) roles off his lips and trotting behind him was Stephan. "Hey Ms. Kelly" he echoed. Angry, I said, Isaiah you can NOT have company now. Where were you? Stephan face dropped and he retreated to door, obviously with hurt feelings.

Variables - Oh NO!

This week has so far been my most challenging: Shakiya wasn't allowed out because her mother caught her boyfriend & another kid in her house while she wasn't there. She's not to have company while her mom is at work. Thankfully, I was able to speak to her on her cell phone.
How long? I don't know.

Off the the Hook

Stephan is still working through not having his cell phone, but has called me from home and has recently been coming by my house- alone.

March 11th

Step. & Brook came by to get my son to go hang at the playground & I noticed something was different about Step, but couldn't make out what it was. "MS. Kelly, my cell phone is off!" He was about to have a melt down and the differnece I noticed in him was No phone at his ear. He really did look naked without it. "He ranted and raved about it being his grandmom's fault and that he wasn't speaking to her until she got it turned on. Brook laughed, as she text, read, text messages. Really upset now he yells at her "IT"S NOT FUNNY BROOK."
Why did I say that a cell phone is a luxury-WRONG Choice of words- He of course didn't agree, talking about how much he needs it until they all went out my door.

March 9th

Met with Shikiya at my house, where we talked about her life and what is important to her. Her likes & dislikes etc. We didn't talk about the things she struggling with, just all good stuff. She likes poetry-so we talked her favorites. her little sis seems to be important to her, even though she says she can work the nerve. She did say that her mother is mean, then changed it to strict. Her boyfriend Fatty (nickname) came up briefly. She seems to be kind of mellow, unlike my other informant (& Sidekick).

March 6

There is a God...Coming home from school, I saw my sons friend Shakiya hanging out at the playground with him; I asked her if she would participate in my school project. She agreed, we exchanged numbers and later that night her mother and I talked about what I had to do. I told her that I would like tp meet with her on Sunday-she said okay-no problem.
Shakiya and I spoke briefly and set up a time for Sunday late afternoon.

March 5th

Why was I surprized:>? Arrangements were made for Step & I to meet at Duncan Donut today and of course both he and Brook came trotting through the double glass doors. We did have a good coversation: Step talked about why he was thinking about quitting Choir, not wanting to be the only tenor. He was concerned because he said that "what if I my voice is bad during a concert, there is NO back-up! Brook laughs and say "you know can't sing anyway." He replied "that's why yo got kicked off of the track team." Almost simutaneously, they asked, "what are you buying us to eat." I replied, session up. Tee Hee. Just kidding, I told them they could each get a munckin....

Feb. 28th

One last shot! Today I will try to make separate appointment with each of them in hopes to see the separate "I AM's" of both.

Feb.27th

Origninally, Step & Brook were to be my separate subjects for information, yet after hanging out with them I realized that they are one. They are best friends and seem to feed off of one another-protecting/shielding each other from any potential harm. They have a sort of pact of secrecy that I as an observer can only be allowed in - if they are together. They were almost silent alone (like a bump on a log) yet together they came alive (like a morning sunrise). I'm thinking about keeping both of them as one informant & asking someone else to participate.

Feb.20th

Having second thoughts about Brook (13) being my second informant. I met with her at my house on the 13th and she was very quiet. When I asked her questions, she replied with one word answers this all in between the beeps sound of delivered text messages. Step came over about an hour later and she seemed to come to life. Talking & laughing and now asking me questions. Go figure!

Informant

I think that I have secured two informants: A guy who's 16 and a girl 13, they're friends and have a somewhat strange relationship. He seems to always be talking about himself or her and she sits near him shaking her head; as if she can't beleive what just came out of his mouth. I'm not sure how this will all play out because now when they see my car in front of my house, they politely knock on my door and ask me what I'm doing. ?&%^*^%$$*^ I think I'll only park in front of my house on Wednesday's ONLY , the day I hoped to set aside for them. Just kidding! I do have a signed consent form from him (Stephan) and his grandmother (guardian)
PS He called me mom the other day, so I politely said Steph-I'm not old enough to have a son you age. He laughed so hard that I thought he was choking- gaining his composure, he said - yes you are, I already know that you're 40 something because Isaiah (my son) to us.

13

The movie '13' reminded me of the confusion of my own adolesants. A pivotal point and time in a persons life, wondering which way to go. So many choices and changes that come with the transition: to be cool, popular, independent, smart, athletic, all screaming continue to LOVE ME, As I FIND MYSELF! The movie made me cry, because it's so easy to give up on hope of making it through the 'darkest of times.' I went through a wide aray of emotions while watching it and wished that we as a society had a different and less painful rights of passage. The ending really moved me especially when her mother tried to love & kiss away all her pain. She couldn't fix the physical part of the brokeness, but ritually & spiritually I felt the healing began. WOW

My Next Life

MY NEXT LIFE
By George Carlin
I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day
you work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in
luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...
You finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.

Anth 3643-001 Field Methods

I think that I'll enjoy the direction that this class is headed in, mostly because I have a 15 year old and at time we seem worlds apart. My only apprehension is that if one of us chooses a child that is or has been abused that we are left somewhat powerless if accusation occur. I think that we should use recorders as much as possible and make sure that a parent or guardian is somewhere near. A child screaming out for attention may say anything, so we must pay particular attention to the subjects we choose. Perhaps create a survey of some sort to gage where they are mentally. In addition to a consent form we should disclose some information to the parents for the researchers protection.

Calm

The snow has fallen
covering the earth with
a stillness unlike no other.
Distant faint giggles
emerge in the wind
between the thomping
sounds of snowballs
landing after flight.
The Pureness of a heavenly
nature has taken place
and hearts sing a simple peace.
Ke